who am I

well this is tricky.....
I just spent a whole lot of time making an animation thing which has turned out too big to post.
It was going to be a post without any words
and here I am back at words.
I love words so I better get over it!
Its the explaining myself with words rather than the arts which bothers me.
words are really rather lovely
the process was wonderful
words are art

The prompt left me reflecting on a session I recently had with a family of adolescent boys -
therapist: what is it about you that has helped you get through this... (subtext - who are you?)
kids: I'm not......
therapist: which means you are.......
kids: kind, safe, friendly, I know how to get out of the way

Jacinta: who are you?
Me: .....................
..... flames.....a figure in child's pose inside the flames.... the figure stands.... the flames come out of the figure's mouth......water washes the flames away (the figure has gone).....out of ash and detritus and water - shoots grow.... and grow....a flower blooms with 'flame like' stamens.... a figure stands, a figure relaxes, a figure smiles....the plant takes over....the standing figure holds some of it up....power...overwhelm...protection....a beautiful pot plant is watered lovingly, the pot is perfect.....the pot cracks and breaks...soil, pot, plant and water everywhere.....the pot is pasted back together, it leaks, the plant grows messily.
.....I am all the pieces of me, everywhere I go, in everything I do.....
....a bold flower, a cheeky nymph pops out and says hello.....
you know.....It doesn't always make me an easy person to be around.

Thank you to whoever suggested this post - its much better to ask a question in the therapy room if I have some idea of what my own answer might be and how I might get there!

Prompt Six - Who am I?

Who am I?

Prompt Five - ISR for Janice

What stays with me... (Janice)

 




Due to technical difficulties, Jacinta has uploaded this post on Janice's behalf.

Prompt Five - ISR for Cath

what I am left with after workshop two

It starts with the words - why do I write so many (on the blog)? Why did we need to talk while we collaborated in the workshop?  I longed for silence and a natural emergence, to negotiate wordlessly.  So I became cheeky and defiant.  But it all became so playful it was lovely - space for words and for silence emerged.
I love to write, I love to think, I love to talk - to share.   I cherish silence, I am sick of thinking and talking and listening and hearing, tired of negotiating.  
I sit here in silence in my home today and I play with a materials offered me.  What a relief!  I look forward to sharing it with you all.  Its fun, its playful, it connects me with myself, I am shocked by what I discover about my world - at how much the words in my relationship have torn us apart.  At what transcendent hope I have for myself, at how my children companion me.  At how much I cherish those dolls that I made over a decade ago and how I want you to see them.  I think I hear the gate and want to tear it down because I don't want anyone to see.  And yet I cannot wait to share it with you.  A private, peaceful sharing space where art matters.  Where I feel safe to share, where I can balance my silence and my words without fear.  This is really a truly remarkable thing - I experience this no where else.  I am very very surprised!  I really didn't think this blog mattered very much at all - a convenience rather than a connection.